If I could just do one thing for myself it would be to appreciate and be grateful for what I have every single second of every single day. To me personally, I think this is the key to happiness in life. Whatever your situation might be, there has got to be something to be grateful for, even if it’s just a smile or a nice cold glass of clean water to drink.
Easier said than done because I have been aiming for this goal for quite some time and really don’t expect myself to accomplish this goal any time soon no matter how hard I try. Though I know this might sound like a negative comment, I say this out of truth because life is full of obstacles and battles that can constantly beat us down and make us forget the clarity of what we want to be the truth most days. As humans, we all have our personal demons we have to fight. Mix that in with the everyday issues imposed by the outside world and it is no wonder most of us live like robots and succumb to the comfort of ‘just being’.
This topic is especially important to me because during my first pregnancy, I had the typical fears of my baby not being born healthy as any new mom usually does. I had no reason to think this at all as all my tests and health was perfect, it was just a natural feeling most of us get of the unknown. Human nature I suppose. Well, during this time, I prayed to God and told him that if my baby is born healthy, I will not ask for anything else in life and will be grateful and happy forever. At the time of asking, I truly believe this, and it gave me so much comfort. Well, God answered my prayers, and my daughter is a healthy, vibrant, smart, sweet, beautiful (every good word you can think of) little angel. Yes, I got the daughter I wanted and yet soon after birth, I saw myself get consumed with emotions that took me away from the promise I made. (Yes, I feel guilty about that and like to remind myself of this promise when I am the most angry/annoyed/pessimistic because it brings me back to clarity).
It’s the lack of sleep, the pressures from other people, the expectations, it’s trying to do too much, it’s the financial worries, the change of pace, the computer breaking down, it’s the everything that happens from regular everyday life that consume us and make us forget how blessed we truly are.
Everything is relative I know, there are those that seem worse off and those that seem better off, but if we are to look into our lives and do it in a way where we are not comparing ourselves to others and in way that we are just accepting of what is going on around us and truly learning to appreciate what we have we would all ultimately be happier. Also make note that I said other’s ’seem’ to be worse or better off. This is just a judgement on most of our parts because we never know exactly how it is unless we are in their shoes. You can never judge a book by it’s cover or in this case, but how much we percieve them to have or don’t have.
The thing and situation we are at now is how do we get to this state of gratefulness. Is this what most religions try to teach us? Is this Nirvana? Is this peace? I have no idea. All I know is that it definately takes a lot of practice and more than a few constant reminders daily to get me to a level where I can even start to be truly grateful. Here are a few things that keep me positive when life turns ugly.
1) Know “It could be worse / Things happen for a reason”. You are late for a meeting and your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. Yeah this could really suck and ruin your day but what if it was meant to happen because if you could see the bigger picture and continued on your trip, you were in this horrific accident where you could never see your family again. Instead of being angry, you would feel rejoiced and thankful for your car breaking down.
2) Thing Big Big Big Picture. Visualize yourself in a room, now zoom up to the house level, now your block, then your city, then your state/province, then the world… see how small your problems are getting? Keep going… Now you are in space, the galaxy, the universe and beyond. You can’t even see your problems anymore because in the grand scheme of things, these problems like others will pass and fretting just became a trivial small matter.
3) Write reminders and notes in places arounds the house to remind yourself. I got this from my brother as he wrote on his mirror, ‘Be Grateful’ or a sticky note on his laptop ‘Sit Straight’. Though these sound like small things, these are just small gestures to remind yourself that you want to be better daily.
4) Keep a ‘gratefulness journal’. Everytime you feel blessed and happy, write it down! Most of us write as an outlet when we are upset or bothered in some way. Reverse that and write when we are happy to remind yourself that life IS GOOD. Be detailed with your feelings so it can take you back to that state. And as a bonus, when you are feeling sad, go back to this journal and read it.
5) Try to surround yourself with positive. Hang out with people that make you happy. We all know the only person that can change themselves is themselves alone so don’t try to change or accept being around a negative person because it WILL wear off on you. I say try to do this because some of the people in our life we can’t get rid ofnstead we should try to accept, support and just be better ourselves for them. For people you can get rid of or people you just don’t need in your life, shake them off. You off for it.
6) Give Back. Yes this works and it makes you feel so good. Everytime I have a bad day I go to Kiva.org (an organization that does microlending for small business), I go and choose someone in the world to help. This is a great way for me to feel good about doing something greater in the world because you are lending the money not giving it away to someone who might just be accepting charity. I have issues with people who cannot help themselves and not doing anything with their lives. Giving to charities that I feel just ‘waste’ money or distribute money where I have no idea where it goes, doesn’t make me feel good. Choose a charity that fits your style of thinking and stick with that. (Note to self: I should give more to Children’s Hospital).
I hope this entry gives everyone that needs a bit of clarity some insight on what to do and how to move forward towards happiness. If there was one thing human beings need to work on, I personally believe it is this.
What might work for me, might not work for you, so learn to create and add your own items to your “gratefulness” system. I guarantee that if you can achieve these goals and come to a good concious level of this, life will be much happier for you and everyone around. I wish you and I lots of luck!
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